Other then maybe while I was going through it before I hit my teens, I have always known I was depressed and in my younger years suicidal. I went to counseling for a long time during most of my academic career. So talking about my feelings was not an issue.
When I got older I had some more open dialogue with my family and come to find out, most of them on my dad's side and some on my mom's side have depression, anxiety, imbalanced emotional distress, and some stronger mental issues. That helped to know some of it is genetic predisposition and allowed for an easier acceptance of my mind's state.
I knew even in my darkest times what I needed to do to try and get out if it, such as when I left public school due to the insane amount of bullying and getting a divorce from an abusive marriage, it may have taken a long time to get to those points but I did get out of them. Same with stooping cutting.
I am still on a path where I am still at the beginning of self love path. I have a hard time accepting what I have achieved on an emotional growth level, and it is much more difficult to see myself as those who love me see me.
I know even now that I have depression and bouts of anxiety and drastic mood swings, but I am fully aware as almost in a third person type of view, that i am doing it and know why. I still struggle with many issues and other then 2-3 people I can open up to, I really do keep it to myself so blogging about it is a bit cathartic.
Thank you for sharing this with us Tara. It is nice to see that you have overcome and dealing with where you have been in life. This is a great start to self love. Blessed Be.
ReplyDeletethanks for the support!
DeleteThanks for sharing, someone close to me suffers with serve depression, self-esteem issues, and other metal problems, its a long road to self love
ReplyDeleteit really is but not impossible
DeleteIt's fabulous that you're so aware of what's happening and able to face it head on. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteIt's fabulous that you're so aware of what's happening and able to face it head on. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteTara,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you went through this. The fact that you can talk about it is a huge step. I hope we (your community) help you in knowing how much we support you.
Know that you're not alone. Many of us have gone through dark times. The key is recognizing and taking steps to move forward.
It sounds like that is exactly what you're doing. Keep at it, it's a journey you were meant to be on and conquer.
thanks for the support :)
Delete