A lot of people know they have a trigger point that they start "winding up" with anger, anxiety, or even excitement. Everyone has a different level thy need to reach before that tips the scales from control to out of control emotionally.
I was thinking about this earlier. I am well known to wind up easily over things and it is kind of a joke with some of my close friends to see how quickly I can flip that switch. When I feel misunderstood and the other person or people aren't getting it is a big trigger for being wound up. I also get hyper focused on anxiety issues that is extremely difficult to come down from and is probably one of my biggest struggles.
The best way to put that in check as quickly as possible is to know what triggers it and to be self aware enough to realize and catch yourself when you are starting that slippery slope down the rabbit hole. For me with my anxiety wind up, if I catch myself thinking over the same things multiple times, I give myself a mental slap and actively do or think of something else to make that issue slowly decompress out of my system.
Your homework this week is to identify a trigger for a wind up and also to identify what works in letting that air out of the balloon of emotions that you are struggling with not winding up over. Have a great week!
Monday, December 12, 2016
Monday, December 5, 2016
"Ain't Got Time for That."
We all are busy people. We often have work, family, extra curricular activities, relationships, and spiritual things to keep us busy. Before we know it, time has past and we have missed out on opportunities because we "don't have time."
A major area that we tend to make excuses for is keeping in contact with friends in some way. When we start having those adult responsibilities, we find that friends go by the wayside because of what you feel there are higher priorities to take care of. I have done this myself. One thing I have learned in my years though is that if a relationship is very important to me, I need to make that extra effort to keep it going. Of course this is a two way street and both participants need to add to the relationship equally, but you can only be responsible for your own behaviors. It is easy to be like "Oh I am busy this weekend. Maybe next?" when a friend asks to spend time with you. Eventually this becomes a habit and someone finally stops bothering.
There is never a life too busy that you can give at least one hour or even a half hour out of your life once a month to stay in contact or see someone. I am not just talking about a FB message or a quick phone call, but go out to eat or a cup of coffee. You will feel better for doing so if that friendship is honestly important to you.
This also pertains to enjoying yourself and having down time. I see parents doing this a lot or people who work full time that they never seem to have time to chill and relax and do things they really want to. Hell, I don't work and I make excuses for not doing things I enjoy because I am "too busy'. It is something we have to actively choose to do. Putting it on the calendar to have a spa day, see a concert, going shopping for the fun of of it, or anything we want to do that is selfish and mentally healthy to relax to. For example, I have wanted to make soap again which I haven't in years. But I keep making excuses to not to it even though I know I have plenty of extra time to do it but I find things that are less enjoyable to do that I feel are more important but really, there is no time constraint.
We are all guilty of doing this but we all need to find a time and place in our schedule to make time for those people and things we enjoy most in life. It just takes a little planning and effort at times.
Your homework this week is to make plans with someone for coffee or something similar to hang out with a friend you have been putting off for a while. Also, do something you have been putting off that you have wanted to do for some time as well that is just for you. This time of year is hectic but even now you can find time. Good luck!
A major area that we tend to make excuses for is keeping in contact with friends in some way. When we start having those adult responsibilities, we find that friends go by the wayside because of what you feel there are higher priorities to take care of. I have done this myself. One thing I have learned in my years though is that if a relationship is very important to me, I need to make that extra effort to keep it going. Of course this is a two way street and both participants need to add to the relationship equally, but you can only be responsible for your own behaviors. It is easy to be like "Oh I am busy this weekend. Maybe next?" when a friend asks to spend time with you. Eventually this becomes a habit and someone finally stops bothering.
There is never a life too busy that you can give at least one hour or even a half hour out of your life once a month to stay in contact or see someone. I am not just talking about a FB message or a quick phone call, but go out to eat or a cup of coffee. You will feel better for doing so if that friendship is honestly important to you.
This also pertains to enjoying yourself and having down time. I see parents doing this a lot or people who work full time that they never seem to have time to chill and relax and do things they really want to. Hell, I don't work and I make excuses for not doing things I enjoy because I am "too busy'. It is something we have to actively choose to do. Putting it on the calendar to have a spa day, see a concert, going shopping for the fun of of it, or anything we want to do that is selfish and mentally healthy to relax to. For example, I have wanted to make soap again which I haven't in years. But I keep making excuses to not to it even though I know I have plenty of extra time to do it but I find things that are less enjoyable to do that I feel are more important but really, there is no time constraint.
We are all guilty of doing this but we all need to find a time and place in our schedule to make time for those people and things we enjoy most in life. It just takes a little planning and effort at times.
Your homework this week is to make plans with someone for coffee or something similar to hang out with a friend you have been putting off for a while. Also, do something you have been putting off that you have wanted to do for some time as well that is just for you. This time of year is hectic but even now you can find time. Good luck!
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