I am currently at chapter 23! Chugging along. Remember this is super rough draft, it will be manipulated and adjusted, and spell checked etc after it is done. So keep that in mind. Let me know your thoughts!
Prologue
Death is something that is inevitable. Like the seasons changing and the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. Death cannot be avoided no matter how hard one tries. I never thought I would be confronted with facing death in my life so soon. Sometimes I look back and think I had it so easy before my life started throwing curve balls. Family, friends, a home, things you can always depend on staying the same, is just an illusion. A false sense of security, something all teenagers believe. We are always focused on the here and now, rather than on what could be, and not thinking of the consequences of our actions. No, flippant behavior, risks being taken without consideration, and a hyperactive focus on themselves in the bane of every teen’s experience. I was just like any other teen until a month ago. That day changed the course of my life forever. That one day, I, Shani Cináed, an everyday sixteen year old student and daughter, would be changed irreversibly, be different irrevocably, and in the end, be a monster.
Chapter One
September 13th, Friday, 7am
One month prior...
The day started out like any other day. Falling out of bed onto the floor, reaching up to shut off my buzzing alarm, I lay my head down onto the cool wood floor of my bedroom. Groaning, I pushed myself up a few minutes later after the alarm went off a second time, and tripped my way to the bathroom where I scrubbed my face until it was bright red, brushed my curly carrot-colored hair to no avail in taming it from being unruly, and cleaned my teeth with the minty bubble gum flavored toothpaste I favored.
I don’t eat breakfast very often, but this morning I swigged some orange juice out of the container and grabbed a semi-stale bagel off the counter. I think that was going to be my mom’s lunch. Oh well.
“Okay mom, I will see you later.” I yell, grabbing my backpack and slamming the front door. Since she didn’t reply, I am assuming she is passed out from drinking after work again. She works the graveyard shift as a nurse at the local hospital. I almost never see her anymore. If it woke her up, good. I am tired of being in charge of everything but her work. She is required to abide by rules there. Not at home.
Scowling, I run down our apartment stairs to my VW Bug parked in the apartment parking lot, taking up the corner space. Putting the keys in the ignition, I turn the keys. The engine coughs and dies. I do this three more times before the engine kicks over. Putting the car into gear, I back out, change gears again, and head off to school.
We live up on a hill and the school is in the next city. I would take a bus if we lived in the district. I got special permission to attend sophomore at a school out of district because they have some advanced programs I qualified for and wanted to attend. School has only been in service for a week so the classes haven’t really started to get interesting yet.
The sun was coming through the window and was nice and warm even though it was still early morning. I love September’s changing season. I love the brisk winds that start picking up and blowing the heat away that the summer hasn’t quite given up.
Turning the corner at the bottom of the hill, while the radio is blasting The Neighbourhood “Sweater Weather” and me singing off tune like an idiot, the car started to sway back and forth. Startled, I pull over to make sure I didn’t cause an accident. The road tends to be a bit dangerous this early in the morning with people rushing to work and not paying attention to the road. There had been, just last week, an accident between a car and a pedestrian. Luckily the person only had minor injuries. I get out of the car after turning it off, and start checking out the tires on the curbside. They look old, and worn down to the treads, but otherwise look whole. I go to the roadside of the car to check the two other tires. The back tire was fine. Dreading what I will find at the front of the car, as I feared when I bent down to look, there is a nail sticking out the side of the tire. “Dang it!” I stand up kicking the flat tire. This means I will have to buy a completely new tire rather than just filling it, which means I will have to replace all of the tires, lest I look lopsided with one corner of the car raised up with the newer tire. Sighing, I go to the trunk to get the jack and spare I always carry in case this happens, and it happens more then I would like. It happened just a month ago to one of the back tires.
I get the jack in place, pumping the car into the air; I replace the tire and put the flattened one in the trunk. I move back to the tire to tighten the lug nuts I had replaced but not screwed back on. Facing away from traffic, I was just tightening the last bolt when I heard a roar behind me, before I had a chance to look around and move, I was airborne. Sky. Ground. Sky. Ground. The world spinning, I finally landed with a thud. I hear cracking. I must have passed out for a moment because when I opened my eyes after blinking, there was a pair of scuffed leather biker boots in front of my face.
“Don’t move. Something could be broken. Let me call an ambulance.,” said the faceless man, because it was a man. I didn’t respond, just kept blinking. He walked away I assume to call for the medics. I must have landed in a puddle, because I felt that I was laying in something wet. Not listening to the man, I brought my hand to my face. Hmmm. It is pretty blurry. I must have hit my head really hard. Trying to focus I bring my hand closer. Clearing a little, I see it is covered with blood. My heart starts to pound and my head starts to spin. This isn’t ‘I bit my lip and bled’, but I dipped my hand into a bucket of red paint amount of blood. Starting to breathe quicker, I told myself to “Calm down. You will lose more blood if your heart pumps faster”. Something I picked up from my mother's work.
The guy returned putting his jacket over me. I assume to stave off shock. Another tid-bit from mom. I looked up to where his face should be but all I could see was a blurry mask. I could tell he had dark hair. “Stay awake please! The ambulance is on its way.” Well duh, what the hell else do I have to do but breathe and stay conscious? That seems to be more difficult task than I thought. My body is getting colder. The nice breeze that was blowing this morning felt more like a gale and the sun went behind the clouds. “I am so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention. I was looking at a text and when I looked up you were there and I..I...it just happened too fast! Oh my god, I can’t believe I hit you!” This guy was not shutting up. I just wanted to rest until the ambulance showed up. I could hear the sirens in the distance. Is it getting foggy? Without moving my head, it seems that there is a grey mist slowly coming closer to me.
“Stay awake! Don’t close your eyes! It’s almost here!” This guy sure sounds frantic. I am just resting my eyes. He is still talking but it sounds like he is under water. I am not feeling cold anymore either. I guess his jacket did the trick on keeping the shock away. The fog seems to be really close now, so close I could reach out and touch it. Well, if I wasn’t lying on the ground.
The ambulance sirens seem to be coming from a distance , but there seems to be many hands on me now. Someone put a mask over my face pumping oxygen into my lungs. I sighed. I figure I will let them do their job and make it easier by dozing off to keep my anxiety in check. I closed my eyes for the last time, the fog on top of me covering everything. I couldn’t feel or hear anything. This should have concerned me but I just wanted sleep. This should have triggered me into fighting to stay awake more, giving a clear sign that I lost too much blood. I didn’t care anymore. Time to rest... Rest...Nothing...
Chapter Two
Friday, 10pm
The first thing I become aware of is a steady beep, beep, beep, coming from next to me. I frown trying to figure out what the noise could be. I try to open my eyes but the little light that sneaks past my open eyelids burns my eyes like someone just stuck a hot coal to my eyeball. I close them quickly, groaning.
“Oh my god! She’s awake! I think she’s awake! Go run and get the nurse!”. I think this is my mother talking but it feels like I have cotton in my ears. “Oh honey, don’t move. You were hurt really bad in an accident.” Startled I try to open my eyes again, but having to shut them immediately because of the searing pain the light caused. I raise my hand slowly to touch my head and ears, but before I can manage lifting it even a few inches, my mother grabs my hand and holds it firmly, but without much pressure. “Don’t move honey. You have tubes hooked up to you that you don’t want to move and you have a bandage wrapped around your head for a gash that you got when you fell. Don’t do anything and let’s wait until the nurse and doctor check you out okay Hun?” I moaned in response. My mouth is really dry and doesn’t seem to want to work. Finally, I open my eyes very slowly so they can adjust to the lights and with a minute of pain, it passes into a dull ache, I am able to look around the room. Machines to my right showing my heartbeat and liquid dripping into what I figure is my arm, though I haven’t checked. A stark white room with stark white sheets and curtains. Very sterile.
The nurse arrives followed by a tall man with a lab coat on, also followed by what I think is my neighbor Mark Cruise, but everything is still blurry and I am not sure. The nurse starts taking my blood pressure and my temperature. The doctor goes to the other side of the bed where my mom is holding my hand. She lets go and steps back to let him check me out.
“Looks like sleeping beauty has woken up.” The doctor says in a pleasant but condescending tone. He flashes a pin light into my eyes, which didn’t feel good at all, so I flinched away. “Pupils equal and reactive. How is your head feeling Shani?”
I try to respond but my mouth and throat are so dry all I can do is croak. “Let me get you some ice chips.” the doctor hands my mother a cup of what I assume is full of ice chips and she starts putting small pieces into my mouth. As they melt on my tongue, it starts to soothe my throat and make my mouth not so dry. I try speaking again.
“My head hurts. What happened?” The nurse finally stops messing with monitors and my arm leaves the room. Mark steps next to my mother and pats her back in a familiar manner. They used to date but are just friends now. He is the only other adult in my life I am around on a regular basis. He is kind of like a father to me since I don’t know mine and who left shortly after I was born.
“Well Shani, you were in a bad accident.” The doctor, whose name I heard while the nurse spoke to him was Dr. Madison, sits on the corner of my bed near my feet. “What we can guess is that you had been changing tires and then were hit by a passing motorist.” Shocked my eyes bug out and my heart rate jumps up by the sound of the heart monitor. “Calm down, you are okay but you were very hurt. I will be completely honest with you. You had many serious injuries and we actually lost you on the way to the hospital for a couple of minutes. We got you back and we took you into surgery to repair your liver, which was lacerated,a broken right leg in 3 places, a dislocated shoulder, and a lacerated scalp along with a concussion. You are very lucky to be alive. There will be some lasting damage however.” My mom turns to Mark and starts crying into his chest while he wrapped his arms around her to comfort her.
“Lasting damage? Will I be able to walk? Or is there brain damage or something? What is going on?” I ask becoming worked up again.
The nurse pushes a button on the site of the bed. “You will be able to walk fine once the bone heals up which will take many weeks with a cast. Your brain as far as we can see and is fine, and you are lucky. Most wouldn’t have survived all the damage you got. The surgery to your liver went perfectly. You will be healing for quite some time to come and will need some physical therapy once you leave the hospital, but the accident somehow affected your vision. We think that when you hit your head, something happened with your retina and your optic nerve. So you won’t be able to see as well as you could. As you can tell you have some vision, but we will need to test your acuity later on to get a better measure of what your vision actually is now. We don’t know, but we hope over time your vision will improve.”
Not really listening, I start to feel drowsy. That must have been what the nurse was doing when she pushed the button, giving me more medication. That makes sense to why everything is so blurry. Mom?”
“Yes dear?” Grabbing my hand again, the doctor stood up from sitting on my bed.
“Are you going to stay with me until I wake up?”
“I will kiddo. I need to run home and grab a change of clothing. Do you want anything?” she asks.
Realizing my phone was in my purse in the car and not knowing what happened to my car, I disregard that. No one to call anyways.
“Can you grab Mr. Whiskers? Also, can you grab my toothbrush and all that jazz? I feel grimy.”
“I can do that, Shani. Now you rest.” She kisses my forehead and starts to leave the room.
Mark pats my shoulder lightly and says, “I am glad you made it girl, you had us worried.” I smiled sardonically at him and closed my eyes. The medication already taking me back under.
